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Ah, Sweet Memories of Old!
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It's harder and harder to hold on to this stuff nowadays. It seems just like yesterday when you could actually blow a few bucks at the mall or spend it on a self-indulgent, frivolous spree, without feeling a single pang of guilt. Now, of course, the present economy has forced us to become frugal to the point of insanity, as we wait, with fingers crossed, for the financial boon that once was to return.
I WANT IT ALL BACK, CONFOUND IT!
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Giddyap!
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If gas prices keep continuing to go up, we may well have to seek "alternative" transportation methods, such as the one pictured below!
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Sports Fan's Fast Food Nightmare
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You may want to think twice before walking into a fast food store in Port Orchard, Washington, at least if you intend to wear a jersey with your favorite sports team's name emblazoned across it. .When a customer, outfitted in Pittsburgh Steelers wear, recently came to place an order of goodies at a local restaurant, it was apparently more than one 24-year-old employee could stand. The cook, a rabid Seattle Seahawks fan, decided to get into a verbal argument with his customer, who made some very scathing taunts, regarding the Seahawk's humiliating loss to the Steelers in Superbowl XL.
According to the 37-year-old customer, who was there with his kids, the incensed burger flipper retaliated by serving him a burger with a "special ingredient" that he didn't expect...a nasty wad of yucky human saliva. Naturally, the upset guy insisted on getting his money back for the contaminated item and the proper authorities were informed.
When cops went by the spitting server's home the following day to question him about the burger incident, they discovered him doing something that probably explained the reasons for his earlier wacky behavior.
He was smoking marijuana, which will probably get him in a lot more trouble than just drooling in a customer's lunch.
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Hillary Clinton in Miniature Size
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I don't think your stock can possibly go down any lower than when you are being impersonated by a Chilean transvestite dwarf. You'll never be able to watch the real Hillary again, without this scary video being etched on your brain for all eternity. (To be honest, though, this tiny impersonator is a lot more likable than she is!)
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John McCain...COOL??
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Thanks to the magic of creative video, even a mind-numbingly dull 70-something-year-old Republican can be made to look "cool." This clever parody of John McCain almost makes you forget that he has no problem with our troops staying in Iraq another century or that he has the charisma of a lox.
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A Novel Way to Get Out of Jury Duty!
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Yeah, yeah, we all know the big thing about serving on a jury being our civic duty and all, but, let's face it, most of us would rather avoid it, if at all possible. One can only wonder if that may be the sentiment that prompted a 46-year-old British man to recently commit actions he surely must have realized would get him tossed off the jury of a rape case being held at the Chester Town Court.
According to news reports, the gentleman in question went to the courthouse toilet to relieve himself- or so everyone originally thought. It seems, however, that, instead of taking a "potty" break, he ended up taking a "pot" break. The cops got suspicious when they smelled the unmistakable aroma of a burning joint wafting from the area of the men's room. The authorities entered and discovered the juror in question puffing away on a doobie. He was, of course, placed under arrest by the horrified law enforcement officials. Later, he was hauled into court and immediately taken off the jury he was serving on.
Face it, this man must either have been pretty bored or amazingly asinine to light up a marijuana joint in a courthouse. Or...was he crazy...like a fox??
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Gross-Out at the Grocery Store
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If you've just been casually picking up those "fresh-looking" veggies and fruits at your favorite grocery store, you may want to use a bit of caution from now on, since bacteria-laden idiots like this one may have been running their phlegm-filled, booger-crusted hands over the produce section first.
Good luck watching this one without getting nauseous!
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Look Deep Into My Eyes!
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You have to give one crook in Rome, Italy credit for ingenuity. The bearded thief is causing banks and cops a major headache, after getting away with scads of money when he robbed some local "financial institutions" recently. Usually, bank robberies aren't huge headline makers, but what sets this crafty criminal apart from his peers is the novel manner in which he committed his deplorable actions.
Instead of using the normal, "standard" way of holding up banks- you know, with a gun?- he opted instead to hypnotize the bank tellers and cashiers. According to one frazzled female teller, the enterprising bandit walked up to her counter and demanded that she look directly into his eyes. Apparently, he managed to get her into a deep trance, so that the mesmerized babe would hand him a huge stash of cash, without a fight.
Of course, by the time she awakened from her hypnotic state and realized, with horror, that all the money in her till was goners, it was too late. The bank robber did the same thing to at least one other cashier, who also became putty in his hands.
As of this writing, the clever lawbreaker is still at large.
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