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Category:News
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Young Whippersnapper Cons Old Folks
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Life in a nursing home can be a pretty depressing and boring one for many older people. Apparently, some seniors at a Jackson, Florida nursing facility were getting so fed up that they decided to spice up their dreary lives a little bit by trying to get some crack cocaine. Residents of the Golden Retreat Shelter Care Center expected to get a major buzz on, when they purchased what appeared to be a white substance from a 22-year-old "dealer."
It was not to be, however.
The young con artist, it turns out, took their money, but betrayed their trust. What they believed to be crack wasn't the real deal at all. The deceiving dude just shoved some hard pieces of bread into Tylenol bottles and sold them for 5 bucks a pop to the gleeful oldsters on the days their Social Security checks arrived.
Somebody alerted the proper authorities of the ruse and the bogus "drug lord" was arrested for his dastardly actions, leaving some ticked off and very embarrassed elderly folks behind, minus their money and minus the high they had eagerly been anticipating.
Guess they'll just have to settle for a few games of canasta to get their thrills from now on. |
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Future Gangsta?
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If you're a parent, you know that sometimes you and your significant other don't always agree on how to raise little Bubba, Jr. or Susie Lou. With that idea in mind, a recent news story came out of Denver about two young parents with a difference of opinion over their cute toddler.
Apparently, Mama and Daddy were at odds about which gang the little darling should join up with. Moms is a proud member of the notorious Crips gang, while Pops is equally proud of his association with the tough Westside Ballers. The couple got into a heated debate over which group of deviant criminals should introduce their baby boy into a life of thugdom and violence.
Their argument got so nasty, in fact, that the baby's father was arrested by the Denver P.D., due to threatening his girlfriend (and the "baby mama") in the video store where she was gainfully employed. (Hey, you gotta have a J-O-B to be able to afford those guns and bullets, right?)
No further details on which gang the parents decided on, but, you can be pretty certain that their son will be holding up a liquor store somewhere near you in the near future. |
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A LEGO mp3 Player!
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My favorite toy from back-in-the-day is now an mp3 player. Ok! It's still my favorite toy! Oh what progress we've made! I have never owned an mp3 player, but this may be the one.
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The Subway Cemetary!
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Apparently, the bottom of the ocean serves as the burial ground for retired NYC subway cars. What a waste! So now we're providing fish with shelter? Couldn't someone find a way to use at least some of these to provide shelter for some of the millions of homeless people we have here in America, especially in New York? Maybe, I'm not being practical. Oh well! It wouldn't be the first time!
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My Mom Likes to Party All the Time
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Do you ever think that some people ought to get licenses to qualify for parenthood before they give birth?
Here's one recent news story that might cause you to think so.
One Tempe, Arizona mother wasn't about to let anything as "unimportant" as her 5-year-old kid stop her from going out to party at a local night spot. "Mother-from-Hell" -Marquita Renee Martin- decided that it was perfectly okay to leave her precious son- a toddler- home at their apartment by himself from 10 p.m. until well after 3 a.m., while she grooved away the wee hours at a club, without a passing thought of the little tyke.
Concerned cops came on the scene, after a neighbor, who was, obviously, far more concerned about Martin's child than she was, called them because she was worried about the wee darling. According to reports, the police discovered the frightened boy, who was crying and cowering under a blanket. Fortunately, he wasn't hurt, but probably traumatized beyond belief. Imagine the surprise of the "Good Time Gal" when she arrived back at her apartment, only to be arrested and charged with felony child abuse.
Believe it or not, Martin was released "on her own recognizance." For the sake of her poor kid, let's hope this was a wake-up call for this negligent matriarch
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A 1600-calorie tea?
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Ok. So, there's an upscale hotel in Scotland,The Hilton Grosvenor, that serves a traditional Glasgow tea that, amazingly, has 1,600 calories and enough saturated(bad) fat to more than fulfill your daily saturated fat cosumption. This is madness! The manager of the lavish hotel claims the concerns of upset nutritionists, who are bashing the menu item, are unwarranted, stating "No one is going to eat a Glasgow tea every day". I certainly hope not! Hell, 1600 calories is a lot, considering it would take 3 quarter pounders or an entire medium pizza to equal this. I mean, who eats three quarter pounders or an entire pizza in one sitting? I'll tell you who-a person who's gonna' have a very non-productive day! Think of the blood sugar spike you'll experience after consuming that many calories! A food adviser to First Minister Alex Salmond says:
"Scotland has already gained a dreadful reputation because of the notoriety of the deep-fried Mars bar and this just adds to it," she said. "I can only hope that this menu is meant to be funny, but our health as a nation is no laughing matter."
I'll say it's no laughing matter. As a person who feels restaurants should curb some of the fattening foods they serve on a daily basis, I'm absolutely flabbergasted by this information!
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Look Deep Into My Eyes!
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You have to give one crook in Rome, Italy credit for ingenuity. The bearded thief is causing banks and cops a major headache, after getting away with scads of money when he robbed some local "financial institutions" recently. Usually, bank robberies aren't huge headline makers, but what sets this crafty criminal apart from his peers is the novel manner in which he committed his deplorable actions.
Instead of using the normal, "standard" way of holding up banks- you know, with a gun?- he opted instead to hypnotize the bank tellers and cashiers. According to one frazzled female teller, the enterprising bandit walked up to her counter and demanded that she look directly into his eyes. Apparently, he managed to get her into a deep trance, so that the mesmerized babe would hand him a huge stash of cash, without a fight.
Of course, by the time she awakened from her hypnotic state and realized, with horror, that all the money in her till was goners, it was too late. The bank robber did the same thing to at least one other cashier, who also became putty in his hands.
As of this writing, the clever lawbreaker is still at large.
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A Novel Way to Get Out of Jury Duty!
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Yeah, yeah, we all know the big thing about serving on a jury being our civic duty and all, but, let's face it, most of us would rather avoid it, if at all possible. One can only wonder if that may be the sentiment that prompted a 46-year-old British man to recently commit actions he surely must have realized would get him tossed off the jury of a rape case being held at the Chester Town Court.
According to news reports, the gentleman in question went to the courthouse toilet to relieve himself- or so everyone originally thought. It seems, however, that, instead of taking a "potty" break, he ended up taking a "pot" break. The cops got suspicious when they smelled the unmistakable aroma of a burning joint wafting from the area of the men's room. The authorities entered and discovered the juror in question puffing away on a doobie. He was, of course, placed under arrest by the horrified law enforcement officials. Later, he was hauled into court and immediately taken off the jury he was serving on.
Face it, this man must either have been pretty bored or amazingly asinine to light up a marijuana joint in a courthouse. Or...was he crazy...like a fox??
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Wish You Had a More Interesting Life? Just Make One Up!
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The latest literary craze appears to be "memoirs" supposedly based on authors' real lives that...well...aren't. Writer Margaret B. Jones recently disgraced herself and her publisher- Penguin Group USA's Riverhead Books- when it was discovered that her acclaimed autobiography "Love and Consequences" was a fraud.
In the gritty book, Jones claimed that she is part white and part Native-American and had been raised by an African-American foster parent called "Big Mom." She also "revealed" that she was a gun toting, drug sellin' member of the infamous Bloods street gang, but that she was able to break free and later go on to graduate from the University of Oregon.
Wow! Interesting life, huh? The thing, though, is that the whole thing was totally fabricated.
Jones's real name is Margaret Seltzer and she spent her youth growing up in an affluent San Fernando Valley, CA neighborhood. She also went to private school. Her own sister ratted on her and now the chastened writer claims that her book was based on stories about the experiences of other individuals she came across.
Bad excuse, Margaret, if that is your real name!
Now all copies of her book have been pulled.
Dang! No movie-based-on-book deals and her book wasn't even out long enough to receive an outraged public diss by Oprah.
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Sports Fan's Fast Food Nightmare
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You may want to think twice before walking into a fast food store in Port Orchard, Washington, at least if you intend to wear a jersey with your favorite sports team's name emblazoned across it. .When a customer, outfitted in Pittsburgh Steelers wear, recently came to place an order of goodies at a local restaurant, it was apparently more than one 24-year-old employee could stand. The cook, a rabid Seattle Seahawks fan, decided to get into a verbal argument with his customer, who made some very scathing taunts, regarding the Seahawk's humiliating loss to the Steelers in Superbowl XL.
According to the 37-year-old customer, who was there with his kids, the incensed burger flipper retaliated by serving him a burger with a "special ingredient" that he didn't expect...a nasty wad of yucky human saliva. Naturally, the upset guy insisted on getting his money back for the contaminated item and the proper authorities were informed.
When cops went by the spitting server's home the following day to question him about the burger incident, they discovered him doing something that probably explained the reasons for his earlier wacky behavior.
He was smoking marijuana, which will probably get him in a lot more trouble than just drooling in a customer's lunch.
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Ex-NFL Star Goes Wild
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Kanyatta Jones was once livin' pretty large as an offensive lineman for the Washington Redskins and, later, the New England Patriots. He even won a coveted Super Bowl ring, the ultimate prize for any professional football player. When a kneecap injury felled him in 2002, however, not only did it put his athletic career on hold, but it seems to have spawned the beginnings of some very odd behavior.
While benched, in order to recover from his injuries, Jones got in major trouble when he decided to "play a prank"- or so he claims- by boiling a pot of hot water and pouring it on his roommate, who happened to be sitting on the potty at the time. The roommate was not amused, especially since Jones's silly shenanigans resulted in severe burns. Jones was arrested, charged, went to court and got probation. Apparently, the Patriots weren't willing to put any further hopes on him either, because they dumped him soon after the incident.
Just when it seemed like the 29-year-old former NFL star was turning his life around by playing for the Tampa Bay Storm, an Arena Football team, he once more suffered a momentary loss of common sense.
Seems that Mr. Jones tried to pee in the middle of a Florida nightclub dance floor. Cops were called and Jones was put under arrest for "obstruction and trespassing"and "battery on a law enforcement officer." |
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Would You Pay to See This?
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Can't get off of work to go to Uncle Spud's funeral? No problem, at least if you live in England! Starting now, a company by the name of Wesley Music will be offering options to bereaved family members and/or friends who can't or don't want to attend the funeral of a departed loved one.
They are hawking their unique service to several funeral homes and crematorium across the country. The idea is for them to charge the absent and grieving the equivalent if $USD150. The mourners will then be provided with a password that will allow them to view a live airing of the funeral ceremony, where every moment will be captured by specially placed cameras set up all over the place. That way it's...well... "almost like being there", except you can have some refreshments while you watch!
Not everybody is enthused about such a morbid practice, but that doesn't bother the folks at Wesley Music nor the funeral homes that have decided to use their "pay-per-view" services. They think it's just nifty for those who want to see a loved one off without having to fly a long distance or make a long drive.
Talk about convenience!
Wonder if this will catch on in the U.S.? |
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