There are 3 things in life you should never do:
Never sit on a stove top without checking to see if it's on first.
Never reach down to pet a pit bull on the head, just because his tail is wagging.
AND...
Never insult an old woman's cooking, not unless you want one heck of a fight on your hands.
The latter thing is what one 71-year-old dude failed to remember and it cost him considerable peace of mind.
The discriminating feller decided to criticize his 66-year-old common-law wife's culinary skills, after being served what he deemed to be less than satisfactory fare, Evidently, what he deemed to be "overly done" bread and barely cooked potatoes did not suit his fancy and he let her know this, in no uncertain terms.
Understandably, her reaction was less than positive and the elderly pair got into an increasingly heated spat. The enraged old gal followed him into their bedroom and further demonstrated her displeasure by hurling a telephone at his person..
The authorities were eventually called to the scene, which resulted in the spunky elderly female being arrested for battering an elderly person.
Turns out, though, that there was a perfectly good explanation for her failed cooking attempt.
She was drunk as a skunk at the time.
Charles Out of Charge 
